Out with the old; In with the new

Claiming that the first draft completion stage represents closure on a project is very misguided. Yet concurrently, common advice is to put time between stages in the writing process. The Project Power draft is now with the editor, and this is an ideal time for me to forget about it. I'm planning on leaving it for at least a month. More likely than not, the editor will get back to me with ideas, suggestions, improvements and so on. I'll need to deal with these temporarily. But I will leave the actual re-write until May.

In the meantime, I can continue another project that is exciting, challenging and potentially very rewarding as it may end up being the core materials for my main work's business course. The 'Management' book is long overdue. Students have been complaining for years about the irrelevancy of general three-times-a-week English classes that have nothing to do with their studies. As I was working on English Care, a health-industry textbook, there was no time to fully develop a full-scale business textbook.

Rather, I used what time was available to plan the scope and sequence for the management text. While doing so, I made sure that a similar book wasn't already on the market by contacting the representatives of publishing companies, talking with them about their wares and seeing if their stock included something that might be both a great timesaver for me (as I wouldn't need to write a textbook) and a valuable resource for my colleagues. In a sence, luckily, nothing was available.

The scope and sequence was a tour-de-force. I'm excited by it and hope that it will be both the framing tool I need to help the work go towards its completion and that it will be a document that excites others as an appropriately-targeted syllabus for the needs of many teachers and students. The current issues in Japanese university education , especially in regard to multi-level classrooms and ill-formed perceptions of the value of TOEIC, were forcing the need for a text that would be useful for very low, almost-beginner level students at the same time as be a refresher course that could prepare higher level students for the TOEIC. And the text must be teachable by teachers working in the various schools of communicative methodology and other teacher types. And the text needs to be relevant to students' future needs. All-in-all, the textbook needs to satisfy a particular precise range of needs. I feel that such a book would be highly generalisable throughout Japan (and beyond) as this 'unique' range is, I feel, relevant to a very large number of teachers and students. The scope and sequence was simply a rationalisation of these needs ordered into a progressive syllabus framed by (what I perceive to be) the conceptual difficulty of the subjects content.

Next blog - the Scope and Sequence . . . 

First Draft

The elation on completing the first draft of my Project Power textbook cannot be underestimated. I feel wonderful! This book represents one-hundred and four pages (not counting index, titles and so on) of work that is basically as distilled version of a course I've taught for the past three years. 

Although wanting to turn class handouts into a publishable work is understandable the decision is not necessarily automatic. The very basic criteria need to be met: 

• Are the handouts linkable into a theme or teaching purpose?
• Is there a balance of activities present?
• Do the activities lend themselves to a textbook format -- or are they too idiosyncratic for general use?
• Is there enough original material?

. . . and so on.

After collating my handouts, I found that I had fifteen task sheets, fifteen examples (text-based mainly but some PowerPoint files) and about twenty pages of assorted hints, activities, resources and worksheets. A lot of the actual classroom time was taken up by teacher explanations, students working through the materials (a good thing) and one-to-one point-by-point teacher-to-student advice. In other words, the class time comprised far more than the actual handouts. As they were, a textbook they did not make.

Timing and spacing were the biggest absences. If I had a handout, being present in the classroom I could adjust the timing of the lesson to suit the particular students there. I can add more practice time, develop a weakness, ignore a point everyone can do. But a textbook is a distance tool. It needs to consider timing and different timing possibilities and contain a flexible yet consistent approach within pages that will never be used with the writer present. 'Spacing' in this context means the idea that a handout, which is nominally a single page, may be longer or shorter depending on the immediate pre-classroom need. The question of how activities should be spaced is one that underpins the very genesis of the published textbook.

Weeks of thought and preparation went into answering these questions. The draft contains these answers, but they must be thought of as only temporary. Later reflection, editors, classroom trials will all point to different versions of the answer. That process must begin now. 

Nuts and Bolts in Coffee

Without any introduction, here is a set of edits from first to last on the 'Coffee Maker' text.

[Original]
My coffee maker is great. It's a combination of a coffee maker and a thermos flask. THat means that I can make a single pot in the mornign and have hot coffee all day. Th e coffee maker was invented by Laurens (first name?) in France in (when) and the theromos by some Scottish guy in the late 1890s. Pyrex invented glass atht is resitant to heat in the 1930s and if you put these together , you cna have a thermos-coffee pot. This machinge, invention is great for lazy poeple like me.

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Remembering the unit mandate helps to focus the framing of the edit:

This is the task outline that appears just before the text.
・present tense for habit, relative pronouns
・Choose an object.
・Say why this object is important to you. Say this in one sentence.
・Talk about its history.
・Talk about how you use it.

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The figures after each text refer to the word length and Greenfield's ELT readability formula. Writing to a formula cannot be recommended, but forcing an edit to reflect changes imposes a discipline that informs the edit. Greenfield's formula remains, in my opinion, a most accurate tool for gauging comprehensibility for Japanese students.

[Starting text to include the task outline]

I chose a coffee maker that is also a flask. A flask is a bottle that keeps water hot for a long time. I make one big pot of coffee that stays warm and lasts all day. The first coffee maker was invented by Laurens in France in 1818. Coffee makers are machines that have three parts. One part is for the cold water, another for the coffee beans and another for the hot coffee. Coffee makers have two problems. If glass gets too hot, it breaks. And if you leave coffee on a heater for a long time, it tastes bad. Pyrex invented glass that can stand heat in 1916. Dewar invented the flask in 1892. Put these together to get a coffee maker that keeps coffee hot and tasty all day. This invention is great for lazy people like me! (142 / 68.9)

[Unnecessary word deletion]

I chose a coffee maker flask. A flask is a bottle that keeps water hot for a long time. I make one big pot of coffee that stays warm all day. The coffee maker was invented by Laurens in France in 1818. Coffee makers have three parts; one for the cold water, another for the beans and another for the hot coffee. They have two problems. If glass gets too hot, it breaks. If you leave coffee on a heater for a long time, it tastes bad. Pyrex invented glass that can stand heat in 1916. Dewar invented the flask in 1892. Put these together to get a coffee maker that keeps coffee hot and tasty all day. This invention is great for lazy people like me! (127 / 69.6)

[Clarification of last 2 sentences]

...Now there is a coffee maker that keeps coffee hot and tasty all day. This invention is great for lazy people like me who drink coffee all day! (129 / 71.1)

[Altered sentence structure of the ‘three parts’]

...They have three parts; one each for the cold water, the beans and the hot coffee. ...(124 / 71.9)

[Adjusting the ‘if’ parts]

...If the glass gets too hot, it breaks. Pyrex invented glass that can stand heat in 1916. If you heat coffee for too long, it tastes bad. ...(119 / 71.0)

[Sentence reordering and word deletion through sentence structure alteration to reach 'final' version]

I chose my coffee maker flask. I can make one big pot of coffee that stays warm and tasty all day. Laurens invented coffee makers in France in 1818. They have three parts; for cold water, beans and a glass pot for hot coffee. If glass gets too hot, it breaks. In 1916, Pyrex invented glass that can get hot. If you heat coffee for too long, it tastes bad. In 1892, Dewar invented bottles called flasks that keep water hot for a long time. My coffee maker is great for lazy people like me who drink coffee all day! (100 / 68.5)

At 100 words and 68.5, this text is seven words longer than the previous unit's and is 1.2 points higher in difficulty. Seven words represents an acceptable (to me) deviation on text length.

At a more crucial level, the question of why (indeed if) the final version is more readable, better, comprehensible must be addressed. That is the topic of a future blog.

Creating an Editing Mandate

Abstractions need to be thought through and operationalised before beginning the edit. The more assumptions unearthed, the more accurate the text will be in fulfilling its purpose. That purpose, though, at this stage remains unstated. A critical, if not the most critical, action an ELT writer needs to do is to develop an editing mandate.

In no particular order, here are some important considerations.

• Pedagogic context for learning


• Pedagogic purpose of the context, the overall textbook


• Pedagogic purpose of the text itself


• Readers’ prior linguistic knowledge


• Readers’ background

As it stands, the ‘Coffee Maker’ text may require no changes at all if it is an exercise in error spotting. Students may complete such an activity by focussing on spelling and comma placement without necessarily comprehending the semantic or conceptual meanings of the individual words. However, the possibilities of use of ‘Coffee Maker’ range so widely that I will outline a single context, that is, the actual perceived future readership of the book.

I believe that it is useful to have an exact class group in mind when preparing any activity. Doing so will help keep the boundaries of the activity realistic. Later, that class’s idiosyncraticies should be considered and the activity generalised. Here is a summary of the ‘class in mind’.

A 2nd year Japanese university class – basic grammar course completed – working vocabulary (visually and aurally, but not output) of the Japanese middle school oral communication level – visual recognition of vocabulary of the high school ‘blue star’ level – ability to decode most basic English written symbols orally – willing to read for comprehension – motivated to learn English for some intrinsic value, i.e. not learn just to pass a course or a test – believe in the value of learning orally

The more comprehensive this characterisation, the more precise the overall textbook will be in meeting the mandate. Furthermore, the process of producing the characterisation highlights certain necessary features of the textbook that may otherwise be overlooked. For example, above I have written ‘willing to read for comprehension’. If the student body is led to believe that reading for test taking is more important than anything else, they will do so. This belief is easily fostered by providing test-like so-called ‘comprehension’ questions after the text or by actually testing students on grammar-based textual details.

Having a characterisation in mind, the mandate criteria may be developed further.

The textbook (from which the passage is taken) is based on an integrated skills focus. Students probably will not take other English courses; this textbook needs to provide a range of useful skills practice. The ‘Coffee Maker’ text needs to exemplify one or more elements of the integrated skills focus of the unit. In this case, the textbook leads students towards preparing a description of an invention that they can’t live without, and the ‘Coffee Maker’ text shows a sample description. It also needs to demonstrate the two grammar foci of the unit; ‘present tense for habit’ and relative pronouns. Above all, it must be intrinsically interesting and be an appropriate model for what will be student oral output.

The stylistic appearance is very much controlled by what I think is useful for students to learn to say. The precise details of the ELT edit – actual words chosen, readability, grammar constructions used, word and sentence length and so on – will be looked at in the following blog.

First Draft

Abounding with advice for writing and editing English texts, the Internet comprises a wealth of information for native speakers of English to improve their own native writing skills. In addition, a sizeable number of sites for teachers of English to speakers of other languages (called ELT in this blog) provide demonstrations of teaching and teaching content of writing. Missing a resource for those teachers who wish to write texts for an ELT learner audience, the primary aim for this blog is to begin that resource.


Two bases inform this blog. The first examines those sites aimed at native speakers of English (NS) writing for other NS. The advice in these sites will be contrasted against the needs of writers for an NS audience. The second base takes actual examples and analyses of examples either by myself or taken from published textbooks. NS sites deal with both the macro and micro aspects of writing. Under 'macro' we see pages on how to develop characters, plot lines and other longer scale content (a typical, but unstylish example); for 'micro', pages about grammar or style. Some pages (e.g. Fifty Tools) try to cover both. Other sites deal with more psychological aspects of writing, like how to overcome writer's block or how to set goals in writing (see Angela Booth's writing blog). Nothing will be said about teaching sites in this blog due to their different focus.

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Let me start with a simple example of a passage that requires editing. The following section is under consideration for a textbook I am currently writing. The topic is 'Inventions that you can't live without', and my chosen article is a coffee maker.

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No-thought content outpour

My coffee maker is great. It's a combination of a coffee maker and a thermos flask. THat means that I can make a single pot in the mornign and have hot coffee all day. Th e coffee maker was invented by Laurens (first name?) in France in (when) and the theromos by some Scottish guy in the late 1890s. Pyrex invented glass atht is resitant to heat in the 1930s and if you put these together , you cna have a thermos-coffee pot. This machinge, invention is great for lazy poeple like me.

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At 93 words, the length is just about right. The question now becomes how should this passage be edited? That's the topic of the next blog. Suggestions are welcome.